I don’t know where I’ll be come late February but I hope everything will be going along amazingly.
Things are looking up lately for me (touch wood) and I’m excited.
You’re worth it and I want to be too.
Just chilling in the living room on my laptop, wearing nothing but a towel, with my hair caked up with toner whilst I bounce around on the couch to Mambo No.5.
Housemate appears out of no where and after that awkward moment of staring backs slowly back into his room. Oop.
I’m not well equipped for communal living with normal people.
And I commented to say how wonderful it was then they all started welcoming me and the love and cute and fuzzies and kittens you guys. So much kittens.
I think the worst part is that I keep being given a taste of what that kind of happiness could feel like. Just the smallest taste.
Then it’s taken away.
Over and over.
I’ll never find it.
Not for keeps.
When I think about it, I’d rather just never know.
It’d be so much less painful.
I hate a lot of things right now.
Like not being able to get a job, that finding enough money to actually eat is getting harder every day, that I need to move to have any chance of finding a job which means losing my cat Chase who is my everything right now and that I’ve hurt my ankle again.
But what’s torn down the last of my resistance was today.
That the girl I was falling for told me there can’t be anything between us.
And that I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her.
And that my grandfather passed away today.
RIP Grandpa. </3
I can’t do it anymore.
I’m just going to stay in bed and try to forget anything exists tonight.
Please make it all go away.